Why Am I Doing This?

"Why am I doing this?"

This question, of motivation, is one that I have asked myself repeatedly throughout the processes of applying, deciding, and committing to do Rotary Youth Exchange. It is also the one that people have asked me most frequently as I have explained my plans for the upcoming year to friends, family...and strangers, in awkward small-talk conversations. When writing my first blog post, what better question is there to answer than this one?

As a high school junior and senior, I have often felt the need to prepare a single story about my future plans. The most common conversation I've had with adults (and peers) over the past two years has been the "college talk":

"Where are you going? What will your major be? Are you excited? Stressed?" 

I'm sure that many high-schoolers can relate to the awkward pressure of this conversation. The need to make decisions is one of the more defining characteristics of "growing up", and the burden of graduation and "what comes next" can be concepts that are equally terrifying and thrilling.

As I had "the college talk" with curious people over the last couple of years, I found myself realizing more and more that although I enjoyed these conversations (I mostly liked the attention, and thrill of upcoming change), I was kind of bored by the idea that I was following a set path. Coming from a place of privilege (namely a white, financially stable family with two parents who love and support me), I have always pictured myself going through the school system, picking a college, getting a job, and living my life. However, something about this plan started to not sit right with me. I found myself wanting to do something a little different. But how?

Around the same time as the intensity of the "end of high school" started to increase, my family decided to host a Rotary Youth Exchange student. At the end of December 2016 to July 2017, we had the opportunity to temporarily adopt Paula from Poland, one of the students hosted by the Ithaca Rotary Club during my junior year.

Paula and I were pretty different. I considered myself to be more of an introvert, and she was the epitome of an extrovert. She had a twin brother, and I am an only child. She was from a different country across the ocean. However, these differences didn't seem to matter when it came to the relationship we were able to build. Paula introduced me to Real Housewives of New York. She mentored me about how to successfully live out my senior year without stressing constantly about the pressures of decision making. She taught me that it is better to say "yes" to experiences, because who are we to say if they'll ever return as an opportunity? I grew a lot from the experience of sharing my parents and my space.

About halfway through our time together, I began to learn more about the Rotary Exchange program. I saw how Paula was supported by her Rotary contacts, as they drove her around, advocated for her needs, and provided a network of other exchange students in the area who were going through the same experiences. I began to wonder: If this program exists, why had I myself not taken advantage of the opportunity to participate?

I decided to commit to the idea of exchange and study abroad. My family never really traveled when I was little, and I have always been intoxicated with the thought of seeing the world. As a result of this desire, while I thought more and more about the college application process, I also began to explore my options with Rotary. I reached out to contacts Paula had made with District 7170 exchange board members and Ithaca Rotary representatives. I hoped more and more that I would be able to go on exchange.

Long story short, I got the approval to apply with District 7170. Because I am turning 18 (right before I leave), I was not applicable for certain countries' exchange programs, and technically not even with my sponsor district. Only through communication with representatives (and advocating for my ability to remain invested and engaged during my time abroad) was I able to apply for the program. I went through the online application, the club interview, and the district interview. By November, I knew that I would be taking a gap year. By December, I knew that I would be going to India. By January, I had my state (Gujarat) and by April, my city (Vapi).

India was not my "first choice" in country. Originally, I had hoped to be sent to a Spanish-speaking society in order to expand upon what I had learned in high school. However, as I have adjusted to the idea of exchange in India, I have gotten more and more excited about the possibilities of my year in what seems now like such a far away place: I will experience being a minority for the first time (I am well aware that my experience will be very different from existing as a minority in America; however, I do still think that this will hold particular value). I will be a part of a culture with new principles, cuisines, and religions than what I am used to. Contrast, essentially, is what I am searching for during this process. Because I am going to college in the town in which I have lived in for the past six years, I feel the need to be separated from the bubble of familiarity. In short, I am "doing this" in order to gain understanding, skills (including a whole new language...or two!), and maturity before I return to Ithaca to begin my college career, and the path that I have always pictured for living my life.

Who knows? Maybe exchange will disrupt the vision I have laid out for myself. I am excited to explore the possibility of who I will become :)

Above is a picture of Paula and I at the airport the day she left back home for Poland.